The 17th Independent Armoured Escort Agency
(From the Chairman's report)
By 22466779 Pte Bird.A 1st Royal Sussex 1951/53
Shareholders will recall that earlier this year in response to an initiative from our subsidiary Minden Metals Ltd and in the face of mounting opposition from our chiselling competitor FEZ International, it was decided to take a more forward position on the Ismailian futures market. To this end various franchises were set up in the CBD and other sites deemed of future value by the tactical marketing group. All sites wee connected by landline back to Head Office and back up radio links were installed. As a final touch a repair vehicle was made permanently available to our technicians. The Managing Director personally congratulated young Rupert, Galsworthy-Smyhe on these technical achievements. Bearing in mind the 6pm curfew, the Committee of Ways & Means could see that the situation had possibilities but were unsure as to how it could be exploited. The Committee had done well to corner the market for slightly soiled Police leatherwear a few weeks earlier, where it had been aggressive marketed to airline personnel and others who couldn't get out much. It was especially popular with the catering branch. But, unfortunately, drew the attention of the Field Security people and the operation was terminated with prejudice. Members had since made a few ad hoc exploratory trips outside trying to assess the marketing prospects. Then came the realisation that if a franchise held by one of our people came up with a codeword requesting that their landline be checked the Committee had a free run of the town after curfew. "Line to Mohamed Ali Number Two Post down" was sufficient to get past the most zealous Provost. |
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Everything happened from there. Someone once wrote that some are born great, others achieve greatness whilst others have greatness thrust upon them. So it was with our members. Greatness was waiting on the corner by a Sweetwater Canal bridge one evening as the Committee were checking out a landline on foot she was clearly keen to converse and so was promptly engaged in conversation in an attempt to gain commercial advantage. Thinking she might let something slip it was decided to proceed to the lakeside where the product was inspected and the full range of services available explained. Some members took advantage of a heavily discounted trial offer. On the journey back jammed down beside the motor she indicated that she had an associate who would also be interested in the protected servicing of what was clearly a very receptive growing market segment.. Members agreed sight unseen, which was a trifle over-enthusiastic because the new addition turned out to be somewhat physically challenged. In fact she had only one leg!
So the project went online. On receipt of the codeword "Matilda" the vehicle would pick up our human resources and take them to a franchisee. To our surprise the one-legged staff member was a tremendous success eagerly sought after by men who had served with our Indian branch before Partition. Something about various gymnastic contortions apparently. The operation went well for weeks. No complaints from the Medical staff about unwanted STD's. Candidate members of the Committee were obliged to report sick occasionally for quality control purposes.
Then one evening a worried Matilda advised members that a rival concern known as Mr Jack had proposed, and was mounting, a takeover. Immediate discussions with Mr Jack disclosed he intended to do away with the payment in kind for the committee's services and institute a wholly cash based operation. Members were thus presented with a problem was Mr Jack a simple business rival or was he seeking to exploit our unique circumstances on behalf of FEZ International? Either way he was obviously to be discouraged. Unfortunately Mr Jack failed to apprehend the mood of the meeting and undoubtedly had severe difficulty with his urinary functions and loss of renal efficiency for some time afterwards. Certainly members saw no more of him or his vaunted colleagues during the rest of their stay.
In conclusion your Committee felt a certain sense of pride in a job well done as they were once again banished back to branch office status. They had combined a worthwhile profitable exercise and made intelligent use of the staff recruitment training and development aspects of the situation. Matilda herself had made astounding personal progress from a very low base and had become a person of interest and fashion. Her colleague had acquired some measure of financial security even if only temporary. Members were entitled to feel that they had been party to a real win/win game. The only losers seem to have been the old Indian hands.....
(Chairman resumes his seat to applause)
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22466779 Pte Bird.A 1st Royal Sussex 1951/53. Radio /Op for that fight at the railway level crossing, and for the village clearing mentioned in the news reports, B echelon operator when we went up to support the LF, subsequent service thru till march 53. Joined MN as radio officer in 1955. finished up out here in the magical land of OZ |
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